Raven + Lily Cards

I love volunteering with www.ravenandlily.com We get together and eat cookies and drink and make stuff. It's one of my favorite things. 

Tuesday

It's Tuesday, a pretty mundane day, other than the fact that I came across this butterfly on my lunch break. The spots in it's feathery brown wings were like drops of aluminum. So beautiful, that nature. Today has been redeemed. 

RIP Dusty

One of my dear friends passed away on Saturday after battling cancer for the past 5 years. We were friends since I was in high school, lost touch for about 10 years then reconnected a little over a year ago.  It was like no time had passed. During that time I had the chance to visit him in NYC where he was living.  (Who in their right mind moves to NYC when they are sick?!) That just shows what a fighter he was. I spent a week with him at NIH in DC for his chemo treatments, and to celebrate his one year immune system transplant. We met up a few times in L.A. and Dallas too. We always texted and emailed, and I kept up our old tradition of letter writing; Something I have recently gotten out of the habit of doing, but was glad to pick it up again. I let him know early on I was thankful for his presence in my life again. The past five years had brought me a different kind of hardship in the form of depression and burn out. Seeing him was like seeing the opposite of myself; He was dying on the outside but alive on the inside while I felt I was alive on the outside but dying on the inside. I needed this so desperately, this terrible, beautiful visual to remind me that life is worth living. Till the end he fought hard. The last time I heard from him was two weeks ago. I knew from update emails he wasn't doing well, so his text shocked me. I was at work and instantly burst into tears. He just said, "Are you still in Cali? I miss you." I honestly never thought I would hear from him again, but even so I had been texting and calling him every few days just to let him know I was thinking and praying for him. I rushed outside to call him. I left him a message saying, "I am so proud of you Justin. What I love about you is that you are such a strong, fighting spirit, and the beautiful thing is that that is what will live forever. You are such an inspiration to me and a dear friend. I am so thankful for you in my life. I love and miss you. Good-bye." And now bravely yet reluctantly he has moved on before us. We will all be with him before we know it, time goes so fast. But in the mean time I will take the time I have left to live on the inside too. Thank you Justin Sullivan, for who you were here on this earth; for driving me crazy, for making me laugh, for being creative, for singing me rap songs, and for always being you. You will be greatly missed.